Sunday, March 27, 2005

Hippity Hop For Jesus

Here's a question. If this "god" is so benevolent, why does Easter Sunday brunch exist? The absolute distillation of the worst Sunday brunch crowd + 40 years. Cute little old ladies with one foot in the grave wearing revoltingly stupid hats. God fearing good Christian/ Catholic men in their best Sunday navy blue suits and ties, doing as they're told so god will keep their little secrets secret so they won't lose their inheritance or their country club golf buddies. My favorite are the bored teenagers who would all rather be getting high away from their families, and then munching out on chocolate later. People over the age of seven saying " Happy Easter". Ever walk into a dining room packed with old ladies in hats? If you close your eyes, you'll think you fell into a barrel of mothballs.
I have to admit, I care less about the food on Easter brunch than even Thanksgiving, but not less than Valentine's day. . The whole point of these traditional torture sessions is to mollify the traditional masses and slop it out we will. Half the portion, twice the price, ahhhh there's IS something redeeming in these swill fests.
Here's a link that expresses what I wish all Valentiners and Easter brunchers would make tradition. You might have to scroll down a bit.....you'll know the one.

http://suicidegirls.com/girls/Felony/

33 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Jesus fuck, you had to mention the fucking hats. I don't know if you meant the Red Hat Society (baby boomer women who put on Red Hats and are deliberately obnoxios to protest being told to care about manners their whole lives, and much in the same way that boomers approached most milesones they claim they are reinventing agin, god) or if bonnets are are seen as something other than stupid quaint where you are.

Damn I hate them so much I get paralyzed with trembling rage.

Bailey, bakery bitch

2:35 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sorry Bailey, it's my duty to dredge up the most revolting part of these "celebrations."

Don't you love how cute everyone thinks these bitches are? What the fuck is it with people in Sunday hats?

A.C.

2:55 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Angry Chef....your my fucking hero....

Please oh please, I'm waiting for you to make some comments about the James Beard nominee list that just came out. If I see Bobby fucking Flays name one more time I am going to puke. There are some well deserved people up this year but it feels like high school, the same "popular/pretty" people get nominated every year, while the rest of us feed the masses with no fame or glory. Not that thats what we're craving but you know what I mean. I'm sure Bobby Flay aint slinging Eggs Benies on Easter or Mario Battalia working the pasta station on Mothers Day ! To the working chefs of America...we rock the house too...keep on keepin on....

12:37 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'll see what I can do. The James Beard nominees are just as rigged as everything else in the world. NONE of it is based on how well somebody does their job. I have to leave Mario alone because his food rocks.

A.C.

9:53 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

A couple of questions if you get the time to answer, Mr. A.C.

1. Have you read Down and Out in Paris and London? Did you think the description of working a big kitchen was pretty accurate, even though it was written a while ago? Also, maybe it's just France, but I hope real kitchens are not that filthy, haha.

2. When does a chef stop being a chef and start becoming an asshole? E.g Gordon Ramsay. Was it when he became a renowned fucker? Or was it when he started shouting at celebrities on reality t.v. shows where they had to run a restaurant? Or was it when he started making ready meals for Sainsbury's and putting his name on chocolate boxes? Or is he not an asshole at all?

3. I know you hate Jamie Oliver, but his latest book has at least done one thing you talked about earlier - tells you how to make basic things (e.g. a good pesto, good tomato sauce, etc) and move on from there.

Thank you. I love your blog, mostly because I love eating and anything ever related to eating entertains me, but also because you are awesome.

- Aly.

4:47 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

oh and one more i'm so sorry!!

hypothetical scenario:
Bill Clinton books your resturant for himself and a large table of others 2 months in advance. You labour over a menu and on the night have all the supplies, everybody is at stations ready knowing what to do, you have put your heart and soul into preparing for this meal. The party enters the restaurant and you are told that they will not be eating any carbohydrates because they are on Atkins. What do you do?
a) take the Jamie Oliver (sorry) route: cook a couple of huge slabs of meat, send them out, and leave refusing to meet Bill
b) go to lengths to uncarbohydrate the food you mae
c) slap him

?
Aly.

4:55 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'd write a special menu for them. If they kept fucking with me about it, I'd ask they go somewhere else. I liked Clinton( my preferences are based solely on who I'd like to hang out with if the guy wasn't president.Bush and Reagan seem like they would be fun huh?) so I'd go the extra 1/2 mile. I wouldn't let Bush in.

A.C.

10:05 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yes, I've read it and it was pretty accurate for those days. Times have changed for the better in the labor law/sanitation areas, fortunately.
I think asshole chefs are asshole people to begin with(I am). I will admit that the needy, whiny public and press can turn you into one also. It is a thoroughly thankless business and the battle we fight against mediocrity, on a daily basis, makes a lot of us even more bitter.Good.
Sorry, I'm done with Jaime Oliver.

A.C.

10:27 AM  
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