Wednesday, October 20, 2004

I've Got a New Pet!!!

I'll call him MyLittleMonkey
You know you're doing something good when MyLittleMonkey spends his time scrutinizing my posts, failing to understand the concept of sarcasm and venting, and my personal favorite pointing out hypocrisy. I told someone not to hit the publish button twice yet I do it sometimes. So? MyLittleMonkey calls me an ungrateful prick (I love it!) because I vent about the irony and Murphy's law of this business. I'm grateful for every dime my customers spend. Am I grateful for what we have to put up with to get it ? Not by a fucking long shot. I'll leave the "yessa boss" dick sucking to my MyLittleMonkey. I'm so grateful I open the doors and cook for free for them once a year shithead. We give to the community, we work our fingers to the bone and we treat our customers like gold. We treat our employees the best we can. Apparently this is a problem for MyLittleMonkey.
MyLittleMonkey calls me childish. Yep. I act like a fucking 7 year old sometimes.
Another favorite MyLittleMonkey told me I was "fucked in the head". I'm so proud of MyLittleMonkey!! He figured that out on his own!? I've only said I was about a hundred times.
Do you think I tell the people that show up five minutes before we close they can't eat? No, they get the best we can give them.That's why they keep coming back. If you like when they do that, YOU'RE fucked in the head. Liking something and dealing with it are two different things. We deal with it. Sometimes I do it by leaving. I don't want my mood to rub off on my employees and set the tone for their work. Someday you'll have the luxury and sense to do the same thing. My kitchen doesn't need me babysitting them.
It's the same when somebody shows up at MyLittleMonkey's place and says "Can I have a 2 Value Meals?" You know, you're almost done mopping and now look.
I know what you're thinking MyLittleMonkey. You're thinking "well you chose this line of work"..yeah I sure did. Kind of. "Well if you don't like it get out" Why would I do that? I love it! I also love bitching about assholes. Actually it a lot simpler, if you don't like what I write, don't read it. I know you have to MyLittleMonkey, you're obsessed with it now.
These are of course, only his opinions and as flattering as they are, he's certainly entitled to them. That's why I love my new LittleMonkey so much. I'm sure his other owners love him too.


Anonymous Anonymous said...


8:38 PM  
Blogger jaxun said...

YourLittleMonkey's a bit of a shit flinger, yes? Gotta watch them shit flingin' monkeys!

Shit. Flingin'. Monkeys.

Never thought I'd actually get to use them words all together in one place. Thanks AC!

8:41 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


Your Little Monkey

9:34 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"I can't stop laughing. And I'm going to call all the people in my life who complain like 12-year-old, Bobby Brady, sash-wearing-hall-monitors, 'MyLittleMonkey'."

Well then you shoould start referring to the blogger as your little monkey then, shouldn't you?


AC's little monkey

11:54 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Rock on chef! You're posts makes my crew and I crack up. You're right on.

5:21 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That's pretty funny. I'm still gonna call the ones in my life "Sparky" though.

Bailey, not a pastry chef

7:29 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


You should come down off your self proclaimed throne. All of us in the industry deal with this shit. You've been reading too much Kitchen Confidential. There's only one "AB". Do you want a cookie because you can use the "F" word in every other sentence and talk about all the scars you have and all the drugs you do?

8:56 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thanks for putting me on a throne. I never wanted to be there but people such as yourself seem to read waaay more into it. How fast did you run to the bathroom to jerk off when Kitchen Confidential came out? I do appreciate your Anthony Bourdain references though.


9:14 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Keep on posting AC. Most of us appreciate having balls enough to post our feelings. I thought Kitchen Confidential sucked by the way.

9:19 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I walked into the bathroom to take a leak, and you were already there. "KC" in hand.

9:24 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Kitchen Confidential was a great book for what it was. It showed the masses the other side of the doors. Granted some of it was really exaggerated but that worked to prove the point. Bourdain broke the ground! He brought attention away from all the food network assholes and on to the actual working class. Bravo Chef

10:44 PM  
Blogger ken said...

I enjoy your posts. I have similar rants daily in my place, with my customers. We feed on each other. Ken

1:15 AM  
Blogger PosterNutbag said...

"Most of us appreciate having balls enough to post our feelings."

Balls? If you ase posting anonymously, how is that ballsy?

4:48 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That must be MR.Nutbag.

9:39 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love you, Angry Chef.


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Anonymous Anonymous said...


Are you feeling ok? I'm jonesin' for another post!!!!

8:31 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What the hell are you talking about? You need to go into drug rehab...this thread is apparently psychotic...there?...moron you can be placed in a padded room, with the other wackos.

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

Awww...stop! I'm blushing. Thank you!


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She loved her brother so much. He was older than her, 23, and she was just 19. they got along great and did most everything together. free bbs lolita preteens took a year off of school and was going to go away to the collage a few hundred miles away in a big city. Their town was small and Kitty had never lived in a big city. She was scared to move there all by herself. She especially was afraid to lose her brother.
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They both laughed. She always laughed so much around him. Kitty hugged him tight and he held her close, they both wanted to stay in the moment forever. However, dad called down the stairs and they finished their morning rituals before they went out to take care of the animals.
She was already dressed and was in the bathroom brushing her teeth as her brother got dressed in his room. He took his boxers off while the door was cracked slightly open and Kitty peeked at him between the door to his bedroom and the frame. All she could see as a well toned, tight as hell ass. She had seen him naked when they where younger and experimenting with the world, but he used to be chubby. Now he was sculpted, as was she, from working hard on the ranch.
She ran the toothbrush on her teeth slower as she stared and soon was just standing there sucking on the end of it. He pulled his jeans up and threw on a t-shirt and she backed away into the bathroom to finish. As she was washing her face he came up behind her, pressing his body against her back in order to reach in front of her to get his own toothbrush. His crotch pressed firmly on her ass and she felt a little tingle go through her body. She never thought of it as sexual but it made her a little damp. This was her brother, somebody whom she loved, not a dirty man off the streets bent on getting in her pants. The thought of a twisted stranger trying to fuck her made her smile and her nipples got hard. She was normally a very dirty girl in bed. (and very rarely did she use a bed at all!)
free big tit videos smiled down at his sister while she dried her face and he put toothpaste on his toothbrush. He could smell her free hardcore teen sex, it smelled like strawberries. He loved that smell. Sometimes he would use her shampoo so he could smell strawberries all night. She did the same thing. Kitty would sometimes put a dab of his cologne on her neck so she could smell his scent all night. They never told each other this, or anybody else for that matter. People just wouldn't understand.
They went out early in the morning before breakfast and started chucking hay from a truck into the horse pasture. It was misty out and a loud thunder grew in the hills beyond. It was the beating of many hoofs. A few whinnies and snorts where heard as the horses drew closer. Soon their black outlines where seen galloping and throwing their heads up and down and side to side as they came. Kitty drove the truck off a few yards away from the sinuous mass of pure strength and wild hearts as they closed in on the food. The stallion trotted around the food, watching his mares and foals carefully, then he pushed into the crowd to eat with them. The matriarch of the group was pushing her way in next to the stallion and they nuzzled each other gently then they continued eating.
Kitty and Jarod smiled as they drove off to the barn to clean up the loose hay off the ground that they spilled from the bails. As they worked, Jarod told his sister dirty jokes he read online,
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They both laughed, though he tried to keep a straight face to add to the humor. Kitty grabbed a handful of loose hay and threw it at him. He ducked and grabbed some of his own, tossing it at her. They laughed and threw hay, getting covered in it and soon she jumped on his back as he went to get more. He spun them both around and they fell to the ground in a pile of the yellow hay laughing and wrestling.
free black sex chat pinned Kitty down under him and they stopped laughing. They where breathing hard and their hearts where pounding. They looked into each other's green eyes and smiled shyly. They had just transformed into virgin lovers, touching the opposite sex for the first time. All the thoughts of being apart drifted away and they where in the moment. Nothing else existed but them, they had each other.
He bent his head down and kissed her softly on the lips. Jarod pulled his head back to make sure she wasn't going to protest and she lifted her free lolitas teenie galleries head up and kissed him back. He slid his hands under her and held her tight as they started kissing heavier, passionately and fervently. Their tongues explored, each in the other's mouth. It was unlike any kiss either of them had ever had. This was pure passion, love and trust.
Jarod moved his hands down and pulled her shirt up, moving his fingers to the front to touch her firm, round, perky tits. Her nipples where rock hard as he touched them. Her breasts where so soft and smooth. Kitty arched her back slightly and slid her own hands up his shirt, feeling his bare chest. He was hot and she could feel his heart pounding, hers was, too. Their hearts thumped away in their chests so hard – like the beating of the wild horse's hooves on the morning damp ground.
They managed to pull each others' shirts off between heavy kisses and he deftly undid her bra from the front clasp. Her tits fell out and her hard nipples stared up at him. He lay his body on top of hers slightly so she could just feel his skin on her nipples. It drove free interracial sex wild. Jarod pressed his hips against hers and pushed his hardening cock into her wet pussy through their pants.
He started to unbutton her jeans as he kissed a path from her lips to her jaw, across her collarbone and between her tits. He licked and sucked each pink nipple, nibbling at times. Then he made his way down further to her tummy and hips. When he got down there he had her pants unbuttoned and pulled halfway down her upper thigh. He kissed and bit her hip bones and looked at her light brown fur patch that lay peeking over the underwear and jeans that he was sliding off.

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