"is there anything they can't
Wise words by the great Homer Simpson.
Well, I guess they can't keep Krispy Kreme floatin'. I fucking love doughnuts. Coffee with too much sugar, a couple of glazed old fashioned and I'm totally jacked and hyper. This might change. You see, Krispy Kreme is doing some corporate re-structuring. It seems that one of the CEOs has decided to start taking an hourly wage. Man. What a noble guy. It takes real balls to give a up a grossly inflated salary to get down and dirty with the common working man! Here...here's the story!..
I quote from Restaurant Business , Feb..15 2005
"Winston-Salem, NC - The troubled Krispy Kreme chain has replaced it's CEO with an hourly employee, though he'll be paid roughly 100 times the wage of an in-store crew member, according to government filings. The documents indicate that interim CEO Stephen Cooper is billing the company at a rate of $760 per hour, while limited-term COO Steven Panagos is on the clock at a rate of $695 per 60 minutes."
-Both Cooper and Panagos work for the restructuring specialist, Kroll Zolfo Cooper-
"The lofty consulting fees do not, however, guarantee the the undivided attention of the two executives. Cooper is also currently serving as CEO for.......( who would have fucking guessed!) Enron; Panagos is chief restructuring officer at Penn Traffic Co."
"Krispy Kreme also plans to pay KZC a "success fee" to be negotiated in the next few weeks"
Think about it. One "employee" making seven hundred and sixty dollars an hour for motherfucking doughnuts.
And he doesn't even have to be there! I'm doin' this shit all wrong!
I understand he has other obligations like tending to his baby Enron. Hey, it's a full time job bilking hundreds of people out of their investments and savings, but come on...you should do a little time on the line per week!
These people I truly despise. Never mind the trespassing on the sanctity of the doughnut itself, but how the fuck can you justify that much money without having to actually work?
Those assholes should break down, scrub and repaint a Krispy Kreme every goddamned day. Outside too! Scrub the hoods, move the ranges, clean the greasetrap, count the fins on the eveaporators coils on the boxes....then I'll give you some slack on your rope! But you gotta earn it...I want my money's worth! And stop riding the fucking clock!
Could you imagine what a pain in the ass a $760 hr. employee would be? I don't think I could count on them.
" Dude...I'm fucked....can you come in?"
"Nope. I'm in Amsterdam. I'll be in in two weeks, but only for 18 minutes."
"Cool, thanks. That really helps."
To think.. all this shit....this gross waste of money, growing from something as innocent and understanding as a doughnut. I wonder if these "restaurant consultants" even eat their own food. Or for that matter if they eat their own young.
Lemme guess, you're gonna close a bunch of stores, put a bunch of people who make $6.50 hr out of work and collect a "success fee." I fuckin' hate 'em!
I also don't want to think of these assholes when I see Krispy Kreme. You know what I want? I want the image of an army of grandmothers making my doughnuts in the morning. I don't want to know what really goes on behind the scenes of my morning routine...I don't want to think of Mr Burns even in the same field, even by association. I want illusion until AFTER coffee, doughnuts and cigarettes!
I have seen the enemy. And boy is he rich.