May The Force Not Be With You

Hey here's a question that's been driving me nuts for about 10 years. Where the fuck is the work force? I'm serious. Have you seen the uncaring lot of cooks being pumped out? I mean what the fuck man? I'm sure this apathetic approach to what lazy, non ambitious people call "pointless careerism" ( like there's some stigma attached to pursuing a passion or career) has infested every business, but since I don't know every business, I'll stick to kitchens. Don't you like when you're working, and you can hear the crunch of an improperly sharpened knife across the kitchen? And this is square one! If you can't sharpen a knife, you can't cook! Why? Because cooking is principle. A minced shallot is not a hacked up shallot. If you don't do it perfectly (or at least try) every time on principle, you're pretty much worthless to any Chef worth a fuck. When you hear that fucking crunch, don't you just want to grab the offending "knife" and throw it in the trash with the great words of wisdom, "you're worthless". Of course what we normally do is snatch the knife away, feel the edge, shake our heads in disbelief and say.." so...what are you doing to my product, I mean...besides destroying it because you don't care or are too stupid to notice raggedy edges that aren't perfect?" Sniveling bunch of time wasters. Remember this future " Chefs", if you don't care about perfection, you suck. Why? Because you're satisfied with mediocrity and mediocrity is easy. There's no challenge. Another personal favorite is teaching station setup and specific dishes. Umm...where's your notepad? Oh, you're going to remember it all. Ok, cool.....don't ask how and don't fuck it up. We're all watching and waiting to say.."Why didn't you write it down dumb-ass?" My personal favorite is the blase look on their faces when you explain something. You know the look. The look of "Uh. This is soo boring...I'm sooo above this, but I can't work under pressure, or with precision or skill. Nor have I ever really cooked anything before......Look, I just want to be a Chef ok? I don't want to waste all my time on this "technique" bullshit." Ok Escoffier, do you think you could at least set your station up just CLOSE to sensibly?And keep it clean and tidy because you're a pig. You know what goes through your head when you get a fire call? All the shit all over your station.
My absolute favorite is..
" Why isn't this finished?"
" I didn't have enough time Chef."
" But you did this last week. You mean, you're not twice as fast this week?.So you don't push yourself?"..Wow. You really suck.
This new non-work force is really enthusiastic too. Really into the art/craft of cooking.
Welcome to Hell you non-ambitious lazy asses. Tony Bourdain summed it up in Kitchen Confidential when he said " A good line cook never shows up late, never calls in sick and works through pain and injury." 27 years in this business and I've been late 3 times. I've never missed a day of work. Ok one. A girl really pissed me off, so I got in my truck with my dog and a bottle of Wild Turkey , drove to North Carolina and had a fucking blast!
I had a crybaby tell me once, " I just don't know if I'm doing good." What are you? A fucking puppy?..Good boy, here's a bone. My Sous Chef responded with..."Well, you're still working here aren't you?" Fuckin' pussies.
Here's a bit from Slammed magazine, written by Michael Gagne and some of it attributed to again, Anthony Bourdain. I'm not sure if he wrote the whole piece or not but it sums up more perfectly than I ever could, about how you're viewed in a kitchen.

"the kitchen is the last true meritocracy. Here, you are what you do. Simple ability determines whether you are an asset or a liability; a culinarian or a ham and egger. Respect is a direct reflection of sharpnes of knives, of the efficiency of movement, of tidiness, punctuality and, especially, of the ability to perform under pressure. In the heat of the kitchen, cars, girls, lifestyles and personal idiosyncracies become irrelevant. Those are nothing but fodder for politically incorrect banter that fills the verbal void left behind the instructions, orders, demands and requests of the resident tyrant. Your's Truly."

In any field, ANYTHING in life, you simply KICK IT'S FUCKING ASS! Lead or stay behind. If you prefer to stay behind, you're a fucking loser. Cooking is a passion. If you don't pursue it as such, with every fiber in your being...you're passionless, and you're going to be shitty at everything you do.