Sunday, October 03, 2004

Shithead Du Jour

Haven't had this in a while. A dine and dasher. On one hand I can relate to ripping something off and I'm all for it, but since this was my money a whole cinematic scene unfolded in my mind. I always envision things in movie form and this was no exception. This asshole ran out on a soup, a foie gras app.,a mammoth bone in ribeye, whatever he was drinking and dessert. Around $65-$70 not to mention stiffing the waiter. I went looking for him , hoping, PRAYING I would find him. No such luck but what I envisioned was catching him and giving him one of three options (after smashing his face into a brick wall once or twice)
1) simply come back and pay for his meal
2) I could call the cops
3) I could cut the steak out of his stomach.

Option one is what probably would have happened. Option three is what I would have loved to perform on him. Option two is a last resort because I hate involving cops in anything. I have no need to involve municipal bag boys who's job it is to turn a blind eye to crime and generate revenue for a municipality. I don't so much hate cops as I do the laws they support.

I just thought it would be great to see Michael Madson revive his Mr.Pink(?) role in Reservoir Dogs and cut the meal from this asshole's stomach with the same calmness and psychotic glee he tortured the cop with in the film. Was that not one of the most heartwarming and uplifting scenes in ANY movie? Dancing around with the severed ear .." Hello Hello" he asks it..then asks the cop .."Did you hear that?"

Hey Fuckhead there is a code of honor among thieves. Don't fuck over the little guy!


Anonymous Anonymous said...

A.C. it is really very simple, why not install an advance surveillance system within your establishment? Therefore, there can be a monitor system associated within your kitchen so that you can monitor the actions of all of the guests. So if you have this problem again associated with theft, you will have it all on video tape, *Before* the guest departs the establishment.

Because you don't need this type of abhorrent behaviour associated with the jackass guests that are to fucking cheap to pay for their meal. Then you end up losing profits. Or you can place his body in a drum of sulphuric acid to were he becomes noithing more than a black foul smelling greasy sludge!Decomposition by H2SO4 can last up to several days, pending the victim's weight and height.

Kristie..line cook

5:04 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Kristie, I like the way you think.


11:03 PM  

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