Tuesday, November 30, 2004

The Fucking French

I think I've done my best to avoid this subject, but now I'm fucked. I have no choice now as I've dealt with French people since before we opened for brunch (remember that horrid subject? Throw a few snotty French people in the mix.) until they annoyed the last few customers at night( now add a French baby). First, I like to see stereotypes dispelled and not reinforced. I tried not to go along with the hip anti-French sentiment because frankly I don't care what country anyone is from. They produce beautiful models and they like good food. Good enough for me. Granted, the willingness to roll over prone is a little hard to take , but whatever. France also gets props for creating cuisine structure and kitchen structure as we know it today so I guess in a way, Careme, Escoffier, Point are all our culinary "Fathers". Ouch. Fortunately Spain has taken France's position in the culinary spotlight. Shit. They get it from all angles don't they??I wonder why.Sunday brunch....2 of 7 frogs walk in and sit down. Finally the rest show up and get a round of champagne. "Oh....first thing in the morning and we're drinking California champagne!"..Oh I'm sorry. It's free. You could always buy a fucking bottle of Dampiere if you want zee best."Oh, would you care for a wine list? We have several very nice champagnes.""I guess this will be ok"Of course it will you cheap fuck.- side note to table 18, people dont' eat green beans and eggs for brunch. Eggs come with meat, preferably lot's of it!-" I want the steak with foie gras butter in place of the sausage on the other dish"You want to substitute steak and foie gras butter for sausage. In other words you want to pay $14.oo for a steak big ass ribeye with foie gras butter is this correct? No, I'm afraid you'll pay $26.00 for basically steak and eggs. Keep it up! I like this game!"I want hot chocolate"We don't actually serve hot chocolate, but it's really not a big deal and honestly, it sounded really good for some reason so I made it. French style with milk, cream and very bitter chocolate frothed in the end with the immersion blender....it was fucking good."How much should I charge them?" the waiter asks (in a fine mercenary tone I might add)"Nothing, tell them it's compliments of --------""It was delicious, can we have some more?"No. That was called generosity, we don't ask for more you snotty, snotty drip.When all was said and done, they surpassed their stereotype of low tipping by leaving a phenomenal 10 AND A HALF percent.8:30 Sun night. Relatively slow so I decided to re-write the menu and get off line for a while. I hate cooking on Sunday nights after brunch. I don't know why, but it just really sucks. Took my seat at the end of the bar and that was the cue for the French couple with child in hand and baby in stroller to arrive. I kind of felt sorry for them. They were young and both had the exhausted look of having dragged little rugrats all over a foreign city where no one spoke French. They looked fucking beat.Things started out promising the woman ordered the foie gras terrine. See, that's what I mean about the French loving good food? The woman was very slim but felt no guilt whatsoever about ordering a 1/2 inch slice of fattened duck liver with a quarter inch of duck fat on top. And she ate the whole thing. She also ordered the White Bass "cuis en sous vide" with sauce Americaine. The guy had turtle soup and a roasted fish. They were eating very well and I love to see people eating like this. Not necessarily dining, it's more carnal than that, but eating. Then the banging started. The little girl was now bored and was banging the spoon on the table . Now the spoon and knife... Isn't it amazing how children can destroy even the briefest period of calm?She calmed herself down by plopping herself right in the middle of the floor where all the traffic is. Her and her raggedy assed rabbit doll. Just blocking the way of the waiters, her parent's oblivious. Now the shrieking starts. Awwwwww...little baby just woke up and he must be cranky!!..Imagine the loudest crying baby you've ever been trapped on an airplane with. You could hear it in the kitchen, outside, in the office..there was no escaping this noise. It's the kind of situation where everyone has either a really pissed off look or that nervous smiling. All I'm doing is watching the nervous looks on the other diners faces and telling myself.."they'll never be back...this is fucking brilliant" All I truly want to do is go" Look, I appreciate that you enjoy the food , but you gotta get those little motherfuckers out of here!"...Take the kids out back, eat in shifts, get your food to go....I don't care just shut them up! Nope. They just sat oblivious to everyone else and ordered a couple of soufflees for dessert which take about 15 minutes. I wanted to kill them on one hand and on the other, I admired their self absorbedness. After the other diners left, the kids were more at ease and calmed down...damage done for the day. After having the waiter remove all my silverware from their baby carriage, and leaving the requisite 10% tip they finally left, victorious in thair battle to uphold stereotypes, jellyfish-like backbones and dispel their mythic grip on dining and sophistication.Yes. After today I can say Fuck the French.Oh and about tipping? I don't wanna hear "Well in France, the tip is included!" Well, in America it's not. And anyone who travels ANYWHERE learns the very basic customs. I don't wanna hear this "they didn't know" shit!

153 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I dunno, AC. It may be that you got a bad spate of French visitors, but personally I don't think rude, thoughtless, cheap parents, and rude, thoughtless, cheap customers, are strictly limited to being French. I remember when my exBF from London- by-way- of- Trinidad first moved to NYC and had a REAL problem with the tipping system, both in restaurants and especially in cabs. "We got in the cab, he put the meter on, he drove. We pay what's on the meter. Why the **** do we have to tip him, too?" Extending this to tipping waiters and coatcheckers just exacerbated what he thought was unjust, and he was singlehandedly going to revise the American way of tipping.

That is, until the 2 of us and 6 of his aunts and cousins went a very nice Cuban restaurant in the East 60s. We had an excellent meal with a few service problems, but for the most part it was all good. Someone decided these small faults were in fact more problematic and dramatic than first thought. Soon, the whole table was complaining, except me. I thought someone had slipped something into all their food, and made them insane. I kept slipping my BF looks -- "what. is. going. ON?" They all decided to leave a light tip. I protested, but the majority ruled. We put our coats on and left the restaurant when the owner of the place ran down the street after us and asked us what was wrong and what was dissatisfactory about the meal. The whole lot of them stammered and coughed up more money, on the fucking pavement, no less. Thus endeth the lesson!

My guess is your French snotty customers probably do indeed know about proper tipping and courteous restaurant behavior... It may just be that screaming babies in Europe are "a fact of life, get over it." Jeez, you should see horrid New Yorkers squeeze little old ladies out of line in the supermarket. Now THERE'S rude for you.

Ann in NYC

1:59 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I know. Cheap, rude assholes run in every culture.It's a human trait. I just meant that they certainly lived up to their stereotype that day.
I never had to deal with them that much in person except to get screamed at in the kitchen.
One day I might see about the assholes you speak of. New York is on my list of top 5 places to move.

The human race, regardless of culture humiliates itself on a daily basis. Is tastelessness, tackiness and crassness now a requisite for everyone?

A.C.

5:24 PM  
Blogger ken said...

posted last night..............was I deleted in error or
..............Ken

6:24 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I posted my blog twice and had to delete one of them. Your comment was on the other one.
Unfortunately, we're not rude to ANY customers(unless they start some shit), we give lot's of food away (It's your cheapest advertising and it's nice to do ) & we substitute constantly ( that's the business we're in) I recommend Serio Maccione's book for you.
I don't give in to "negative vibes"dude...and "loving my environment". You've never been to a cuddle party have you?

A.C.

7:58 PM  
Blogger ken said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

8:32 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Who is that asshole? His customers have to prove something to him? Angry Chef, you're an asshole(in a good way!) but that guy sounds like a dumbass.

9:52 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thanks for the compliment! I prefer raging asshole though!It's Ken's opinion and he's welcome to it.It's his place and he can run it how he sees fit. If substituting a hash brown patty for a side of chips is too much for him to deal with , oh well. You're right though, that part about the customer having to prove something to you is pretty retarded. All they have to do is show up and prove they want to spend their money with you. Then it's your responsibility to prove yourself worthy. Every day, every customer.

A.C.

10:09 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

God I'm sick of the French!

10:13 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's not about the French, donut hole. It's about what kind of a person you are, and the hypocrisy of people expecting to be treated with respect who then turn around and treat others disrespectfully. Jerks are everywhere.

The problem with NYC is everyone's crammed on top of one another. There's a bazillion people and a lot of them think who they are. A New York minute is too long to wait for anything, but you gotta wait because everyone's crammed on top of one another. Then you have every kind of background, ethnicity, education, and tax bracket all mingling together in a fabulous human stew. You've got celebrities and the homeless, Harlem and Wall Street, stretch Hummer limos and the MTA, Balthazar and White Castle. It's as exciting as it is frustrating, breeds every extreme emotion. It's an addiction.

9:08 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

When I go to a restaurant I go out of my way to be polite to everyone. I know what kind of work it is being a chef, running a business and being a waiter etc... I REALLY appreciate something that tastes so good it takes me out of myself for awhile. That's what life is all about. I can't say why some other people are assholes except that they don't know what it took
(takes) to make that meal they are eating. The years of practice and discrimination. What can you do? Cook on!
Mr. B.

1:21 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

BF is french. tips minimum 20%
i hate undertippers.
we eat reguarly at same places.
these places treat us good. real good.
love substitutions
but if somewhere new always ask for permission from the chef to do so. Dont want to disrespect his vision if it means a lot to him.
but when i am out i do love to eat fries
a treat we never have at home

5:40 PM  
Blogger ken said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

1:58 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

No actually, I'm tired of this. Look up the definition of "hospitality".

A.C.

4:07 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am torn in situations like this. I worked in a restaurant for about 2 years, although it was a chain, and certainly not the caliber that is discussed in this blog.

As a result of my experience with this, I am never anything but polite to staff in restaurants, or really, seeing anyone that has to deal with customers.

However, I know how hard I worked to please people when I worked in my job, and I expect the same from people when I am the customer.
I am not an asshat about it, but if something is not right, I am going to speak up about it, because it's your job to make sure that I am satisfied when I am in the position of customer. Of course, I have to make that judgement call about what is/is not reasonable.

I just get caught in between: I know what a shitty job working in the food industry is, but at the same time, I did a damned good job and I expect others to do the same when it's my turn to play customer.

7:38 PM  
Blogger Gilbert said...

Dear friend,

Take some time off and only cook when you're happy. How can you be creative with so much anger? I am sorry that you had a bad experience with the French culture and that they, as customers made a terrible mistake to think that you were worth the detour. I have a suggestion for you so you can avoid the french for good. Sell your first class restaurant and open up a fast food joint, this way NO brunch and No french. Relax dude, life is too short. Drink some wine and concentrate on good quality family time.

9:24 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Gilbert? Get some perspective. What is a more horrible thing to happen at your work? Once a week you put out a half assed meal because your entire crew is hung over and nobody in the dining room cares or that happening every day? When you work in a fast food place or even worse, a family style bar and grill every single meal is like brunch.

Bailey, bakery bitch

8:29 PM  
Blogger PerfectPear said...

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11:01 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Where is AC? :o

7:47 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Angry Chef, Please come back.....where are you????

11:24 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The ironic thing is, Montreal, is one of the worst cities for waiters being extremely rude when they feel their tip is not enough. Now, having worked as a cook for awhile (nothing too fancy, but decent) I have all the sympathy in the world and try to tip as much as I (a student) can afford. Always at the v. least 15%. More when the food/service and experience was really pleasant. But, I still feel that it is my perogative to tip. A waiter should not feel that he can complain to me about my tip.
One night, a friend and I went to a Mexican restaurant-- not of high standards, but nice enough. The waiter sat us in a chilly section of the restaurant, ignored us except to remove our plates and generally was as unpleasant as possible. The food was not great, but edible. When we gave him a (approx.) 7% tip, he held out his hand and said 'The tip is not included.' at which point my friend said 'Apparently the service wasn't either.'
However, as much as I felt her response was justified, I can't help but think of some poor cook back there who's just been ripped off a tip because of the waiter's lousy service.

1:05 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Its funny how you guys mention "French this and that," well, sorry to say, its not just them, its everyone. It runs in our blood to be rude and unthankful for what someone's done to us. And yes, look up the word hospitality in the dictionary and see what you get.
I grew up all over the place and I started travelling when I was 10 and didn't settle down until I was 22. Let me tell you something. Its not the French that are rude, its everyone. I lived in 7 different countries with minimum of 2 movements in a country, you do the math. I've experienced same level of rudeness as I would anywhere else.

8:24 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Unfortunately, you're right.
It's all over the place.

A.C.

8:50 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm sorry, cooks get tipped? I guess in some places they do get a measily amount... I've been the sous chef in a very busy tapas bar(gag) for a year and a half now, getting paid complete dick. When the owners suggested to the wait staff that they tip out the kitchen on exceptionally busy nights, they refused, though they make two or three times what we do. The waitstaff gets whatever they want, for some reason. I just turned in my "resignation" today, along with most of the rest of the kitchen. The Chef (my poor overworked BF) is not far behind. All they'll have left are a couple of Mexican dishwashers and a prep cook. Fuck you, assholes. How you gonna make all that money now, bitches?

12:25 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Good for you! Fuck 'em.

A.C.

1:02 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I worked restauarants for ten years, and after avoiding waiting on french people, I ended up marrying one. god is perverse. Since then I've gone to france uncountable times, and from experience I say that over all the french make their children behave radically better than americans. They can sit at a table and take on all 9 courses and though they may fall asleep sitting up, they don't scream to eat ice cream or leave the table, typcially. I'd much rather being eating at a table with 10 french kids under 12 than go to target on a sunday afternoon. You got unlucky (or mislabeled french canadians, who seem to have a more american view of child raising)

Yes, the French tip badly. And I have retrained my husband, but relatives still do, and I have to sneak more cash ot the waiter as well leave if they get the bill.
So do Midwesterners. Shameful the tips they leave-- 10 percent if your lucky. So do old people who still haven't gotten over a 4 dollar cup of coffeee. So do many crummy people who have never worked a double and been paid under minimum wage, and think people who wait on them are somehow subhuman. It happens. Sometimes it's culture, sometimes its assholiness.

The French predjudice is so depressing. Next time Americans are killed by invading armies and if you see your family wiped out, your home burned to the ground,all your stuff stolen or destroyed, see if you feel like surrendering or not. America has been blessed by large bodies of waters protecting them through much of the old style wars, and now the new wars are too scary to fight at all, most of the time. We have been lucky, but not humble.

Americans are made of all countries, including french. Let's stop being so small minded and pissy and be the melting pot we're supposed to be. And fucking travel and get out to the countries and meet the people before we decide they are all jerks.

4:03 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You're right! Quick, get me a violin!

And now, here's my French joke..thanks for making me say it...

What's the National game of France?
HIDE AND SEEK!

A.C.

6:28 PM  
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7:44 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am not french nor americain, my opinion is unviased. One says this to other, other says this to one! We will never find peace in these world, not even inside a restaurant, nor in a blog world...
Don't worry be happy!!!

7:48 AM  
Blogger zee said...

i cant help but wonder, when do u guys actually have time to religously logged on every night and rant and raves! i work double shifts, 14 to 15 hrs a day, at least 6 days a week, 7 if i'm 'lucky', and totally beat and insanely exhausted at the end of the night to even have the energy to bitch, let alone to type. you people just amazed me. goddam cooks! this is why i chose to sweat my ass in the kitchen, so fucking totally worth it! i'm a rush 'junkie', yay!

12:53 PM  
Blogger ChefNick said...

About the only time I was stingy with a tip (It's my policy to tip 20%, good or bad) was at Vanessi's in San Francisco.

Our party of four had a reservation, but we were held at the bar for forty-five minutes. No problem, the bar is home to me. Then a cockroach begins to crawl on the bar in front of me (this is a first-class Italian joint in North Beach).

I motion to the bartender and say, hey look, here's a cockroach! And he says, "Kill it."

Then the waiter, a total asshole throughout the meal, charged us for a $50 bottle of wine when the one we ordered was only $20 (this was the 80s!).

We left him a nice, shiny one cent tip.

12:54 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I just want to say French Canadians(Quebecors) are cheap, I have been to quebec, had dinner with 8 people and the server brings us all seperate bills, that is how they do it there and oh by the way they do not like to tip. I was ashamed of them, but they come to NYC and wants the best deals, stay there do not come here its expensive so be prepared to spend and tip thanks!

9:33 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

THE FUCKING FRENCH!!!!
I also can say it now...haha
I'm stuck with a French/American nationality, but have lived in 12 countries I just feel that people shouldn't juge, cathegorize, blahblahblah, but even if it's not the majority, it is like this in GENERAL!
I spent this year in Paris, France tried to have a normal life, but I couldn't find a job for months because you need the BAC fucking BAC only used in France.
Then I tried dating, A NIGHTMARE, french men are like ...they have a broom stuck up their asses hahaha and they are cheap. OF COURSE not ALL but the MAJORITY wins !!! Just coming back from China, where people work 7 days a week and will invite a whole table of people, (each person gets their turn to invite) and they have less money but a big heart, so much more fun... Fench count money by the penny. AND YES French Expatriates are the worsed, they never make efforts with the language, customs...etc. They just look for the best deals and say how cool they are when they come back to their shithole!!!!
ahhhh I miss getting a $20 bill tips when waitressing, here, that will never happen...

12:06 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

my god a tip should be just that. you stupid american's, always wanting tips. dont you understand that a tip is meant to be a compliment. and that by having customary tips, your forcing a compliment. probably not even that. stupid fat american cunts.....go fuck yourselve's

lots of love
Cap'n

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